I know this is a weird page to have on my website, but I really like Magic: The Gathering and I want to share my deck lists.

If you’re into that kind of thing, here you go.

Decks with a * beside the name are part of the set of Commander decks I call the “Big Lady Rogues’ Gallery.” All the commanders are big ladies. I myself am a big lady, so you can imagine why I like them. Most of these kill with commander damage, but sometimes they just do really big, silly, explosive things.

*FINISH HIM

Commander: Maarika, Brutal Gladiator

Maarika was the first of the big ladies. The whole deck is about making her big and hitting people hard, sometimes just killing them outright, sometimes making them sacrifice things, and sometimes playing fight cards with lots of fun side effects. This deck is always a good time. When in doubt, Jund it out.

*Punch You Into Next Week

Commander: Obeka, Splitter of Seconds

Everyone made an Obeka deck when Thunder Junction came out, and so did I. Why wouldn’t you? She’s SUPER fun, and no other commander does something like this. Where else will you win with Court of Ire off 18 upkeeps in one turn?

*Carmen’s Cruel March

Commander: Carmen, Cruel Skymarcher

I love Carmen so much. You don’t understand how fun this deck is until you play it. Carmen doesn’t just bring back creatures from your graveyard—she brings back ANYTHING, as long as you make her big enough. And she has flying. You know how many people don’t play enough flying blockers? All of them.

*The Aircraft Carrier

Commander: Arna Kennerüd, Skycaptain

I first made this deck thinking, “Well, why not? This’ll be fun.” And when I played it for the first time, I said, “Oh. Oh.” Because Arna does stupid things. Combine her with equipment deck cards like Puresteel Paladin, Armored Skyhunter, and something real stupid like Bloodforged Battle-Axe, and baby, you’ve got a stew going.

Painbow 2: Pain Harder

Commander: Jared Carthalion

This is an updated version of the Painbow precon from Dominaria United. I took out a LOT of the lands that come in tapped and added more multicolored spells that worked with what the deck wanted to do. (Plus Leyline of the Guildpact and Case of the Shattered Pact, both from Karlov Manor that work GREAT with this deck.) It’s sometimes slow, but I’ve been told it’s almost always scary.

Astarion, Sass Master

Commander: Astarion, the Decadent

We got into playing MTG because of the Baldur’s Gate set and Baldur’s Gate 3, and when I realized what Astarion could do, I had to build him. This deck wants to kill people in a single turn by taking half their life and then having Astarion drain the other half. Yes, it is difficult to pull off. Yes, it is awesome when it happens.

Let Him Cook

Commander: Rocco, Street Chef

This deck is stupid. You’ll be taking so many game actions everyone else at the table will kill you just to stop your twenty-minute turns. Get Rocco down ASAP and watch your engine turn. Just make sure you have a win condition—no one likes it when you have a giant board and can’t win. Took this apart because it churned but couldn’t close out the game.

More Woofs

Commander: Faldorn, Dread Wolf Herald

I suppose you could consider Faldorn a Big Lady, but I don’t. Anyway, this is a heavily upgraded version of the Exit from Exile precon from the Baldur’s Gate set. This eventually became the Let Him Cook deck because I wanted my commander to be more of an engine than just a payoff.

Cregga Would Be Proud

Commander: Hugs, Grisly Guardian

The latest incarnation of the exile deck. Hugs is not a lady, but is kind of an honorary member of the Big Lady Rogues’ Gallery. I don’t even cast Hugs until I’ve ramped to my eyeballs, unless I have a bunch of lands and I want to ramp faster for some reason. I really love this exile theme and these cards, and I hope this version sticks around.

Rowan’s Pain Train

Commander: Rowan, Scion of War

Another where the commander is a lady but not a big lady. Rowan’s still pretty great, though. I don’t have this one in paper form, but it’s always fun to play online. Drain your own life with spells like Wall of Blood and Necropotence, then cast gigantic X spells that absolutely annihilate your opponents’ life totals. What’s not to like?

Bloodborne Is About Vampires, Actually

Commander: Edgar Markov

It’s an entire proxy deck with Bloodborne art. The only way you make a bad Edgar Markov deck is if you don’t know what you’re doing and/or you don’t have the money. I don’t have the money, which is why I got a proxy deck. Vampires and more vampires. Also an Eldrazi because Bloodborne has eldritch horrors. I love Bloodborne.